10 Years Ago

(I am writing about it all, blood, swelling, and everything, so consider yourself warned.)

10 years ago on a Saturday night, I went swimming in the evening with family. I swam laps and pushed it a little too hard. Later that evening I started spotting. We took a trip to the hospital. After an ultrasound, they told me not to worry because they didn't find any problems with the placenta tearing away from the uterine wall. I went to a L/D room and got a pitocin drip to help move things along, because I was having a baby! Mind you I was barely 36 weeks, and had been on bed rest for 4+ weeks already.

Sunday crept along and finally Sunday afternoon at 3:30 Jaran was born. His heart rate had declined during delivery so the doctor used forceps to help pull him out. He had little marks on the side of his head, but they soon went away. What a beautiful baby he was. He weighed in at 8 pounds even, pretty amazing for only being 36 weeks. Both Will and I were in tears at the sight of our own little family.

While Jaran was being cleaned up, the placenta came out, and to everyone's surprise, it was covered with clots. The doctor said that had we known that, I would have had a C-section.

Jaran had a little trouble breathing, so they took him to the NICU for a little while. During this time, my epidural started to wear off and the pain started to set in. I asked for something to take the edge off and they gave me demerol. After a little while, the pain seemed worse, so I asked for some more demerol. It still wasn't cutting it, so they gave me a third dose of it.

By this time, I had started to become incoherent. My pain was excruciating. I was aware of all my surroundings, but couldn't get my body to respond. I knew something wasn't right. I could hardly speak, so I fingerspelled to Will that I wanted a Priesthood blessing. He gave me a blessing, and I knew that I would be OK. Little did I know the danger I was in. The nurses also knew something wasn't right so they called my doctor back and upon arrival she knew at once the problem. I was bleeding to death. A blood vessel just beyond the birth canal had ruptured and I was loosing blood fast.

I was in and out of conciousness and only remember being wheeled from the Labor & Delivery room to an Operating Room. The anesthesiologist was frantically trying to find any vein that she could and I remember being poked numerous times. While I was asleep, the doctor opened me up (she told me later that blood gushed out) and was able to stop the bleeding. She left a tube inside of the area that drained out into a little pouch instead of packing it with gauze then having to go back in and remove it.

I actually woke up while still being intubated. It was a very unpleasant experience. I was gagging and barely awake. I remember them pulling the tube out of my throat. Yuck! Soon after I was taken to the ICU. I was being pumped full of fluids to replace all that I had lost, and also was receiving units of blood. I remember being weighed while I lay on the bed and frightening enough I actually weighed more after having an eight pound baby than before.

I looked like a blimp. My fingers were sausages! I was receiving fluids so fast that my whole body just swelled up. My catheter bag was being emptied hourly because it was so full. And just my luck I got a male nurse that night. Not that I have any problem with male nurses, it was just a little uncomfortable when he had to come in and check the "area" which was grossly swollen, then put ice-packs there to help stop the swelling.

I felt awful, and didn't fully understand how close I came to death that night. My morphine drip was helping and my body was on the mend. My spirits were surprising good considering the trauma I had experienced. Like I said before, I knew I would be OK after the blessing I had received. I remember asking someone to hand me my scriptures and the only passage that came to mind was in Doctrine & Covenants 122:7-9

7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

9 Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

These words rushed over me and a wave of comfort settled upon me. I was going to be OK. My family would be alright. We would rise above this bump in the road. Will was by my side, and although I could barely hold my son because of all the wires and tubes I was connected too, I felt at peace.

Lest I forget, I must tell how Will was told that his wife was in critical condition and how he waited in a hall in tears as I was in the OR and our son in the NICU. All that was dear to him coming so close to being taken from him. The doctor told him to go home and get cleaned up and get some sleep while I was recovering from surgery. He cried in the shower, he barely slept. He was a wreck. Needless to say it was a very rough night for Will.

The next day was better. Will was with me, I saw Jaran a couple of times. My chest was swelling, and my bottom was hurting. I was able to get up and actually moved out of the ICU to the Ante-partum unit so they could keep a close eye on me.

After 4 days of recovery, we were able to go home. It was nice to be home. And now 10 years later it is so nice to be home with my sweet son, his two sisters and my darling husband. Life is good. God is real. Family is everything.

Happy Birthday Jaran!